This is a favorite holiday song “The 12 Days of Christmas”. What if we reimagined it in a humourous version for the present day? Forget the partridges and lords-a-leaping; come to a joke version that captures us in our everyday world, our little quirks and holiday frenzy.
Day 1: A Subscription I’ll Never Stop Paying For
On Christmas Day my special one presented me… a subscription I’ll never cancel. The streaming service, the box of gourmet cookies: it’s the reassurance gift — to your bill.
Day 2: Two Lost AirPods
I dropped two AirPods on second day of Christmas. One slipped between couch cushions, the other? … Down in the dark of my car. AirPods are the socks of the Internet age.
Day 3: Three Wi-Fi Outages
3rd day of Christmas, 3 Wi-Fi outages. Imagine the agony of buffering during your Christmas Movie marathon. It’s a bittersweet reminder of how dependent we are on the internet.
Day 4: Four Overpriced Lattes
Four overpriced lattes arrive on day 4. And then there are the holiday cups and limited-time flavors that never seem to make sense, until you check your account.
Day 5: Five Forgotten Passwords
“FIVE FORGOTTEN PASSWORDS!” we scream. And from your streaming service to your Christmas shopping accounts, resetting all of those… oh, yes again.
Day 6: Six Zoom Phone Calls Going Bad
Day six is all about those impromptu remote party-feelings with 6 Zoom calls dropping. Faces locked shut and unrecorded chaos: a digital Christmas party to remember.
Day 7: Seven Packages Delayed
Seven late packages meet us at the seventh day. Two-day shipping promises, and your gift from weeks ago is still stranded in transit. Better luck next year!
Day 8: Eight Awkward Selfies
Eight cheesy selfies saturate our phones on day 8. Snipping to fuzziness to unnatural perspectives – the art of taking the perfect holiday photograph is not a skill everyone has mastered.
Day 9: Nine Cat-Ornament Fails
‘Nineteenth day is cats misbehaving: nine times your cat knocks decorations off the tree. Batting baubles, climbing the trees, it’s their Christmas tradition.
Day 10: Ten Guests Complaining
Ten guests complain on day 10. Overcooked turkey to under-seasoned stuffing — you can’t get Christmas dinner right. Smile and drink more wine.
Day 11: Eleven TikToks Trending
There are 11 TikToks out there day eleven. Holiday dances, silly challenges, cooking disasters take over your feed. It’s the digital holiday spirit we never had.
Day 12: Twelve Unread Emails
And then there are twelve emails, not opened, on the 12th day. Sale offers, last minute deals and obliging wishes from brands you didn’t know were there abound in your inbox. Merry Christmas?
Wrapping It Up
This Christmasy “The 12 Days of Christmas” tries to get us to laugh at all the stupidities of this world during the holidays. Wi-Fi problems, lost equipment, sluggish delivery — whatever your problem, the magic of the season is to live in it. Happy holidays — and may your partner make you have less lost passwords and more Wi-Fi security!
