17 Truths to Build On: Why Honesty is the Foundation of a Strong Relationship

In the delicate dance of a romantic relationship, few things are as vital as honesty. It’s the invisible glue that holds two people together, fostering trust, security, and genuine connection. When you choose to share your life with a man, you are implicitly agreeing to be transparent. A relationship built on lies, no matter how small or well-intentioned, is a house of cards destined to collapse. You should never feel the need to deceive your partner; instead, aim to be as open as possible. By remaining honest, you give your relationship the best chance to not only last but to truly thrive.

Here are 17 fundamental things you should never keep secret or lie to your boyfriend about, because the truth, while sometimes difficult, is always the most loving choice.

Your Social and Daily Life

It is crucial for your partner to know the basics of your life—it’s about respect, transparency, and often, your safety.

1. Your Friends: Your boyfriend should be comfortable with and informed about the people you choose to spend time with. This isn’t about control; it’s about transparency and shared knowledge. If he expresses concern about a specific friend, he may have a legitimate, safety-related reason.
2. Where You’re Going: Lying about your location is just as damaging as lying about who you’re with. For both safety reasons and the sake of transparency, your partner deserves to know your whereabouts.
3. Your Job: Be truthful about your occupation and income. Whether you’re working a demanding corporate job or at a local fast-food restaurant, your work is a part of who you are, and he should never judge you for it. Financial transparency starts here.
4. Hobbies and Talents: Don’t hide the things you love! Whether it’s writing, crafting, or painting, your recreational pursuits and talents are a part of your personality. Be proud of them instead of keeping them a secret.

Your True Self and Feelings

The relationship is with you, the authentic you. Never hide your genuine thoughts, feelings, or past.

5. Age: Age is just a number, but dishonesty about it is a major character flaw. Lying makes you less attractive, not more. A good, long-term partner won’t care about your age; if he does, he’s not the right fit.
6. Childhood: While no one has a perfect past, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about a tough upbringing or past events. If you trust your partner, you should feel safe enough to discuss your childhood and let him gain insight into what shaped you.
7. Being OK (or Not): Don’t utter the simple lie, “I’m fine,” when you’re not. If he has done something to upset you, it is far more constructive to be straightforward and honest about your feelings than to bottle up resentment.

Life Goals and Future Plans

Your shared future depends on aligning your individual aspirations. Deception here is a lie to your shared life.

8. Your Goals: Sharing your personal and professional goals is vital because, ideally, your individual paths will eventually merge. You cannot pretend you want to become a parent if you genuinely dislike children, and vice-versa. Lies about major life goals will inevitably unravel and end the relationship.
9. Finances: Let your boyfriend know your financial status and priorities. If you are on a tight budget or prioritizing saving, tell him. He might happily agree to stay in and cook rather than constantly going out to expensive restaurants and bars.
10. Relationship Status (Labels): It’s important to define the relationship on your own terms. Most importantly, you must establish whether you are in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship. An open relationship is only acceptable if both partners are fully aware and consent.

Health and Intimacy

These are deeply personal matters that have a direct impact on your partner and your connection.

11. Health Issues: He deserves to know about any chronic health issues, especially if he might need to assist you in an emergency. Furthermore, if you have an STD, you have an absolute and ethical obligation to inform him to prevent transmission.
12. Sexual Fantasies: Don’t be afraid to share your bedroom fantasies with your boyfriend. While you are entitled to privacy, sharing can be incredibly intimate and allows him to potentially help you make those fantasies a reality, strengthening your connection.
13. If You’re a Virgin: Inexperience is nothing to be ashamed of. There is no benefit in pretending you’ve slept with numerous people if you haven’t. It’s a touchy subject for some, but authenticity is always respected.

The Dynamics of the Relationship

Be honest about what you want from the relationship itself, and how you feel about the people around him.

14. What You Want From Him (Your Intentions): Be upfront about your fundamental intentions. If you prefer to keep things casual and primarily want sex, communicate that. If you want a serious, committed relationship, you must also communicate that. Always be direct about your wants and expectations.
15. Loving Him: Never lie about your feelings just because you are scared of hurting someone. If you have ulterior motives for being with him, that is fundamentally unfair and cruel. Be honest about the depth of your love, or lack thereof.
16. Liking His Friends: You don’t need to be their best friend, but if you genuinely don’t get along with his close friends, it’s better to let him know—gently. He might disagree, but he will certainly respect your honesty more than a fake performance.
17. Exes: It’s wise to be honest about how many people you’ve dated. Sharing a bit about your past relationships gives him insight into your romantic history, helps him understand you better, and prevents awkward or damaging truths from “coming out of the woodwork” later.

Honesty isn’t just a policy; it’s a practice. It requires courage, vulnerability, and a deep commitment to the person you are with. A relationship where you can be truly, fully yourself—past, present, and future—is a relationship where genuine love can flourish. By committing to these 17 truths, you aren’t just protecting your man; you are protecting the integrity and longevity of the bond you share.